i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
