Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
ttyl tear gas
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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