I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
