absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
