we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
