i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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