every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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