i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
