i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
