Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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