I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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