i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize
