why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
