he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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