let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
