Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
