we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I have fence marks all over my body
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
