I didn't shave. On purpose
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
