I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
