____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
handjob tips. give me some.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
