Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
