I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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