drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
So vagazzling was a success
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