Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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