We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
