thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
