What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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