When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
