last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm like, not good at living.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize