Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
