dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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