evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
