apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize