"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
