Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
