he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
