remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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