Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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