I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
that may or may not have been my penis.
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