Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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