If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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