Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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