One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
