I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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