how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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