If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
