hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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