Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
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three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
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It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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