Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
