and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
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