Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
