i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
