brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
