I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
