...so i touched it.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
