your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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