I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
