We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Life is so much better after having sex.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
be right there i have to get my cape
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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