look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
