Can i not drive my cunt home
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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