No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
