I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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