How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
