At least make sure they are 18
Why
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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