That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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