and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I want to fling myself into the sun
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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