I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
