3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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