I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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