i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
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Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
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Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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