My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
