yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
